Finding boldness to live out your purpose in the wake of loss.

One Week Ago

One week ago, at this exact time, 2:23 EST, our world was brought to its knees by the martyrdom of Charlie Kirk. His death sparked a global conversation. People who had never heard his name suddenly leaned in to learn who he was and what he stood for. Thousands have been saved. Millions have rejected empty political rhetoric and renounced violence. Tens of millions have rekindled their faith and found boldness to stand for Christ. In these seven days, prayers and conversations have filled the earth. This was the shot heard around the world.

My Zeal and My Why

For me, this moment has awakened my zeal and my why that had been buried in fear. I use my platform to bring healing, to speak truth in Jesus Christ, and to help powerful men and women build kingdom-minded businesses so they can live out their purpose. My testimony is one of a 13-year-old poor kid who gave her life to Jesus, went to just a year of Bible college, and pastored for eight years. I spoke in colleges and high schools, on small and large stages to thousands. I led hundreds to Christ in those early years and was willing to give everything for Him when I had nothing.

At 28, I walked through the murder of my mentor, which silenced me for years. I told the Lord I didn’t want a platform and wanted peace from the warfare I felt ministry and the platform brought me. I became a wife, a mother, and a business owner employing more than eighty people and building an international company, and I nestled into a mostly quiet life. In the past few years, the Lord made it clear to me that He was positioning me to preach, teach, speak, and heal again. The amount of healing, rejection, and correction from the Lord I have received has been life-changing.

Where Do I Stand One Week Later?

Where do I stand, one week later? This week reminded me to love enough to have hard conversations, to rebuke in order to restore, and to be salt and light instead of simply salty. I have spent hours and hours in the Word of God, prayerfully seeking Him deeply, leaning into wise counsel for how I’m going to respond to this senseless martyrdom.

Proverbs 10 Speaks with Power

Verse 9
Verse 9 says that when people wink at wrong, it causes trouble, but bold reproof promotes peace.
I will not shy away from any conversation to help you gain perspective and to change mine if I’m wrong. But I’ll respect you enough to do it privately, to show you I love you and honor your dignity.

Verse 11
Verse 11 says the words of the godly are a life-giving fountain.
I will season my words so people are drawn to Jesus. Everyone has a “truth.” But simply stating it sometimes reflects your motives and your own heart. Yes, speak truth, but if you desire to be a person who loves, connects, and heals, do it in private—because perhaps it’s your perspective that needs to change, and if it’s the other person’s, perhaps they needed you to bring healing to them. So the words of the godly are like a life-giving fountain that will draw people to you because how you handle your words shows if you are godly.

Verse 12
Verse 12 tells us hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.
Perhaps the few times Charlie was curt and inappropriately used words are the most misused memes today to discredit his love for people. So there’s a lot of defensiveness today because there were times Charlie showed that he was human. But when you look at the hundreds upon hundreds of videos, unlike any murder in American history, there has never been someone who left so much data to show us his true heart. So when you reflect, you see that yes, he may have been curt and insensitive, but that man did what he did because he truly loved the gospel and wanted people to be free. That means having those tough conversations—it wasn’t his hate, it was his love.

Verse 13
Verse 13 says wise words come from lips of understanding.
I will seek to learn and understand points of view so I can bring healing and clarity and not just be heard to be right. Being silent to study and even open to admitting my own thinking is off takes bravery. I’m willing to do this without fear. I’m going to do this. And if I uncover flawed thinking, because I love you, I have to talk with you if you have the energy to do it. If you don’t, I’ll table it and be silent, because the worst thing you can do when someone feels like they’re drowning is lecture them while they’re drowning. Sometimes it’s just throwing them a life raft, which means: I love you. I care about your life. Let’s not talk about how you got where you’re at—let me just tell you that I love you, and when you’re in a better place and feel less urgent, if you want and have the energy, we can talk about why you were drowning.

Verse 14
Verse 14 reminds us that the wise treasure knowledge, but the babbling of fools invites disaster.
Words matter. Sometimes the wisest thing is to be silent until you can speak with love.

Verses 18 and 19
Verses 18 and 19 warn that hiding hatred makes you a liar, slandering others makes you a fool, and too much talk leads to sin.
If the offenses of someone else are causing you to hate them, you become a liar. But when you choose to slander them, you’re the one who becomes the fool. So until you can get love in your heart, it’s better to be quiet. I get it. A lot of us are angry—and anger is natural and OK—but what you do with that anger and who you choose to become after it really determines if you want to live a godly life or not. The Bible really separates people by how they handle life—they are either fools or wise. I choose to strive to be somebody who’s wise. And I reflect that all that the Lord has given me and all that I’ve done in my life is to try to honor Him and be a wise woman of God no matter what platform I’m on. And sometimes that means being falsely accused. And when we’re accused, we feel this urge to attack the one who is accusing us.

Revelation 12

Revelation 12:10-11 reminds us that the accuser of the brethren is not a person but the enemy of our souls. We overcome him by the blood of the Lamb, by the word of our testimony, and by not loving our lives unto death.

Courageous Faith

If we are unwilling to live with courageous faith like Charlie, our lives will be filled with anger, fear, and suffering. But Christ uses suffering to strip away idols and bring us closer to Him.
There will never be another Charlie Kirk. But when I pick up the microphone, I commit to being the best version of who God has called me to be. And this end of seven days is where Christi Howes stands. And I understand that not everybody will be where I’m at, and that’s OK. I don’t expect you to, because each of us is on our own journey. And that’s the beauty of social media—how we can use this as a platform to help heal, express, communicate, and connect. And I intend to continue to do that. For those of you who need courage, message me. I will pray with you and minister to you.

Putting Feet to My Energy

To put feet to my angry energy, this week I stopped making excuses and finally built out our podcast studio. I will preach, teach, and love with everything I have. I have a message. It’s a message of hope. And though others don’t see it that way, it didn’t stop Charlie. And I can’t let it stop me.

Closing

May God use this moment to awaken in you the purpose He has called you to live.

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