When I Laid My Fleece Down at 12:30 AM

When I Laid My Fleece Down at 12:30 AM

The Hidden Weight of Leadership

There are moments in business that no one really talks about. Not the polished wins or the highlight reels, but the quiet, heavy moments where everything feels like it is pressing in at once. The numbers are tight, the responsibility is real, people are depending on you, and you are doing everything you know to do, yet it still feels like you are fighting uphill for every inch.

Those are the moments where faith gets tested in a different way. Not in whether God is able, but in whether you begin to wonder if He will come through for you—or if you somehow missed what He was calling you to do in the first place.

A Midnight Breaking Point

I found myself in one of those moments. It was 12:30 in the morning, and the house was quiet, but my mind was not. I was carrying the weight of business, finances, decisions, and the pressure of making it all work. I was exhausted—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

I was not questioning God’s power. I have seen Him move too many times for that. But I was questioning myself. I was questioning whether I had what it takes to carry what I felt called to build. I was questioning whether I had heard Him right.

Laying My Fleece Before God

So I did what I knew to do. I cried out to Him—not in a polished, put-together prayer, but in a real, honest, desperate conversation. And in that moment, I laid my fleece before the Lord.

Gideon’s Story of Doubt and Calling

If you are not familiar with that phrase, it comes from the story of Book of Judges, chapter 6. Gideon was living in a time when the Israelites were being severely oppressed by the Midianites. They were hiding in caves, their crops were being destroyed, and they were living in fear.

In the middle of that, God appeared to Gideon and called him a “mighty warrior,” telling him that he would be the one to deliver Israel. Gideon’s response was not bold confidence—it was doubt and questions. He asked why all of this had happened and reminded God that he came from the weakest clan and was the least in his family.

In other words, Gideon was not struggling with whether God could do it. He was struggling with whether God would use him to do it. Yet God still chose him, still called him, and still gave him instructions.

The Meaning of the Fleece

Judges 6:36–40 (NIV)

Then Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised—
look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.”

And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.”

And God showed up. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew. we see what has become known as “laying a fleece.” Gideon was not testing God out of arrogance. He was asking for confirmation because he did not fully trust his own ability to step into what God had called him to do.

My Own Two-Week Prayer

That is exactly where I found myself that night. I told the Lord, “If You are in this, I need to see three specific things happen.” I gave it a timeline of two weeks. I wasn't testing God, I was desperately questioning MY OWN ABILITY to have heard him correctly. I had believed He called me to start my businesses, but sometimes in the midst of it, I can doubt if I don't see the fruit quick enough.

So when I "laid my fleece", it was not because I was trying to challenge Him, but because I was backed into a corner and needed clarity. I needed to know if I was supposed to keep going or if I needed to lay this down. It was not about doubting God’s ability. It was about doubting whether I was capable of carrying what I felt He had placed in front of me.

Overnight Confirmation

The next morning, I woke up and one of those three things had already come through. I remember sitting there almost in disbelief, realizing that God had moved overnight.

Then, within the two-week window I had given, all three things happened. Every single one of them came into fruition. It was undeniable. It was not coincidence. It was confirmation.

What I Learned

That moment changed something in me. It reminded me that sometimes the doubt we feel is not about God at all—it is about ourselves. It is about whether we believe we are strong enough, capable enough, or equipped enough to walk out the calling on our lives.

And in His grace, God will meet us in that place. Not to keep us in fear, but to pull us into obedience with clarity.

For Builders, Leaders, and Visionaries

For those of you who are building businesses, leading teams, and carrying vision—I know how heavy it can get. I know what it feels like to question whether you are on the right path when everything feels like a fight. I know what it feels like to wonder if the resistance means you are doing something wrong.

But sometimes, the very tension you feel is the weight of the calling you are stepping into. There is nothing wrong with going to God honestly and saying, “I need You to confirm this.” That is not weakness. That is real faith. It is acknowledging that you cannot do it on your own and that you need Him to align your steps.

Once He Confirms It, Move

Here is the part that matters just as much: once God confirms it, you have to move. Gideon did not stay at the fleece. After God answered him, he went on to lead an army and walk out exactly what God had called him to do. The confirmation was not the destination—it was the catalyst for obedience.

The same is true for us. If God has already shown you what you are supposed to build, lead, or step into, and He confirms it, then the next step is action. That may look like making a decision you have been avoiding, hiring the help you know you need, implementing systems, or stepping into leadership at a new level.

Sometimes God gives you the vision, but the execution requires support. It requires structure. It requires people. That does not mean you are not called. It means you were never meant to carry it alone.

Call to Action:

If you know God has called you to something but you feel overwhelmed in the day-to-day, we would love to support you.

Visit christihowes.com to learn how we can help you walk out your calling with clarity and support.